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Thread: I-Shine - Why

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    The Next Ja
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    Default I-Shine - Why

    yes! after a couple of time I decided to make a new audio.

    Here it is!

    I hope you enjoy it and maybe I can have a little feedback

    www.soundclick.com/I-Shine

    the new song is called "Why"! I know that people won't understand me pretty good that's why I posted the lyrics there too...but, please try to listen to it at first without the text.

    Thank you!

    P.S.

    pppprrrrr

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    Flash (12-29-2006)

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    Breathin' Hip Hop Nickolai's Avatar
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    i'll listen to it a lil later
    IM tryin to get out da hood.. and ur lil white cracker fuckin ass might keep me in here foreva now.. my deal might be fucked up cuz of u and summer.. u do realize that dont u??? I HOPE U Live in the US.. cuz if i find out ya real name and i loss my record deal for dat bullshit.. Imma serious fucking kill u.. I aint playin man.. at all.. u dont know how much u just fucked me.. and i hope ur happy.. cuz if u didnt have a vendetta.. u shouldve cuz u just ruined me.. seriously - Fluxx

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    dj mc MAW's Avatar
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    I'll register at this site........and then I'll listen

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    Originally Posted by k_kiss
    d00000000d..niggas be pm'ing me to ghost writ3 thre@ds my d00d

  5. #4
    Writers Block? Chopz's Avatar
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    Okay, to start with, B.S, this was a lot better than your other audio in my eyes and I liked this track, the main beat was good and it complemented your voice, the lyrics were meaningful and the hook was good.

    Intro:

    I did not like the intro at all, it goes from one song, to another, and then switches to the main content of the track. The tracks that are in the intro do not really compliment each other in sound and the switching between tracks is very abrupt and just sounds as if it has not been mixed very well. The using of "Why" was nice as this was the song your song was obviously based off, but, if you are going to use it in the intro you have to ask yourself why you do not use the same chorus in your song? Unless you wanted it to be completely original, but in that case, why use a sample of "Why" in the Intro? Anyways I think this should be revised.


    Hook:

    Like I said, the hook was not bad. The way the hook was laid out was very nice and it did feel like it was placed at the right amount of time between each verse without stretching the verses out for to long (I know what I mean lol). However, although the hook was good in content and did compliment the track, however, with the using of the sample of "Why" I still think it may have been a good idea to use the voice of why, not the beat, but to have somebody to redo the hook in a way that would compliment the beat.


    Verses:

    Very good content. A few problems with the way you rapped it imo, but I will talk about that in a minute. The verses were set out with very good structure, the content was deep and it did compliment what the original and your version of the track was about. However, if you were trying to follow the idea that Jadakiss had in Why, about 93% of the lines should have started with the word "Why" and end in a question mark, or a question at least because the only way to audibly emphasize a question mark is to ask a question. Anyways, enough rambling, I think that the verses were well done bar some rapping emphasis and the actual wording of it.


    The way it was rapped:

    To some it up in one word it would be "Rushed". I know that you have a different accent to say I do or to some of the other people on here but nonetheless the way you rapped it could have been improved. I did not need the lyrics to understand what you were saying but in some points of the song I needed to check a word on there because of the way you were carrying and connecting with the different syllables. For example, if you were trying to say "Blackstar is the best" you were saying "Blackstaristhe... Best". What was happening in my opinion was you were not finishing the words which you were saying, and thus, it sounded as if you were just rapping one big word at time instead of a few. Next time you make a song make sure that you finish each word only if it is two letters, fully pronounce it before moving on to the next word.


    The Beat:

    The beat on this to me was very good. It did compliment your voice as it was not to high or too fast. Your projection was not quite enough to be heard very clearly over the beat, perhaps turning the input up or turning the beat volume down a bit. It had a nice bass to it and if I was a rapper could definitetely doing something hard and gritty over it. My compliments to the prodcuer (But not on the Intro)



    Overall:

    Intro;Bad
    Chorus;OK
    Verses;Good
    Rapping Style;OK
    Beat;Good
    Voice Projection;OK

    Overall Rating:

    Terrible
    Bad
    OK
    Good****
    Amazing

    - It is good but I put my other ratings there so you could see what else it is possible to achieve in my eyes in an audio.

    BTW, as a written -

    Nice similes, good structure, nice hook, not to long, ominous in places, kind of dark, some of the best verses I have seen from you in a while. 7/10, (It is time to crack down on rating, people have started rating other peoples drops to high, a 8.5+ is now average for a rapper, to me a 7 means it is an above average rating, so from now on I will give real ratings, if you can't rate properly, don't rate at all.)

    Keep up the good work Black.
    Last edited by Chopz; 12-28-2006 at 06:32 PM.
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    ...But every time I fall to sleep; all that I can do is dream...
    ...That a mere mortal like me can reach the heavens where she sleeps...

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    BlackStar (12-28-2006)

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    Gained A Buzz Lil' Infamous's Avatar
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    and why does 50 percent of these wanna be G's
    have got fake IDs like underage pussies?
    I LOVE IT! lol

    how can I express myself with a high crime rate?
    my otha fav line.

    the intro thing where it jus cuts into anotha (louder) beat wasnt a good idea.

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    BlackStar (12-28-2006)

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    The Next Ja
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    just can give you one "thx" each post but I would give you millions if I could!!!!

    THANK YOU!!!!!

    damn, that will help a lot!

    The thing about the Intro...lol, erm...I love the song by the Roots, it's def one of my fav. I just wanted to use it like Premo did but I failed lol. It was like an experiment but I don't have got the possibilities to mix the sampels together. I got the whole beat and that was all. I but all vocals together, the hooks and the verses (after my bad experiance in the last song). But yea, you have to make experiances to become better and that's why I want feed on this track.

    I didn't want to copy Jada...I started to write and I thought about a song name or a red thread later. And the topic of "why" came later.

    Thx for the language advices! That's one of the parts where I want to improve the most. I was bad in English in school always but it's my way to express myself that's why I had learn a lot about it again. The feedback for pronounciations and how to speak is important for me because I can't practise it a lot (just with songs here).

    I'll give boofy your feedback on his beat!

    oh and to this rating stuff...yea I feel you. We have to make a new limit cause too many songs are very good but how can we improve if we get a 9.5+/10 each song?

    oh and while I'm reading Infamous feed here, thx at first and I'll delete the intro now...lol

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    Platinum Selling Artist Summer_heat's Avatar
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    ive heard some of this before!!
    u sent me sumet called "shaun sucks my dick" n it was late n ppl was sleepin so i decided to listen to it the next day but then i forgot, i only found it 2days ago n heard it, lol, cept u got so far on it n then said "shaun sucks bitch" lol, yea i really liked it, altho cos of ur accent i dint understand some words first time i heard it, i understood it clearly with the lyrics, a nice concept, loved Kiss "why" n altho it dont compare, u did ur thing!

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    Trade Worthy LIL-LATINO MC's Avatar
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    hey fool this track is the shit.no i couldnt understand your accent,but i knew what u say reading the lyric,and you got gift.so keep it,and shine on.

    I like your first verse with the fake i.d,wanna be g,and pussy lol.

    cant wait untill my tracks come out,post your opinion on it too coming soon.

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    BlackStar (12-28-2006)

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    The Next Ja
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    Quote Originally Posted by LIL-LATINO MC View Post
    hey fool this track is the shit.no i couldnt understand your accent,but i knew what u say reading the lyric,and you got gift.so keep it,and shine on.

    I like your first verse with the fake i.d,wanna be g,and pussy lol.

    cant wait untill my tracks come out,post your opinion on it too coming soon.
    thank you little man!

    mhhh...yea I like that line too...does anyone get the little hint in it?

    50 percent?? wannabe G' ??? think about it...there is a reason why I used the number "50" per-cent ;) get it now

    but I'm sure yall get it

    @Summer
    lol, yea...erm...was funny...lol...

    thx for the feed!!!
    Last edited by BlackStar; 12-28-2006 at 09:59 PM.

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    MAW (12-31-2006)

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    The Next Ja
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    listened to this yday when Sum did
    i liked it, tha topic u rappin on is real gud, bout real stuff
    n yo voice n flow went wit it well
    i dont think u dropped off at any point so thats gud
    u maintained it well thru out
    tha accent aint that bad fo me, but readin lyrics did help
    overall nice stuff
    keep doin mo, always gud to hear new ish

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