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Eyebagz
09-03-2007, 02:38 PM
The rope breaks but the noose is still holding tightly round my throat
I guess in the river Styx I wonít float go over an rip up my suicide note
Thoughts fly through my head I realize maybe death wasnít the best option
Loads of people fulfill their dreams everyday donít let anything stop them
But feelings of everything being wrong I canít let go of my fist stays clenched
As the world stands above me urinating wildly I stand like a statue drenched
The ropes still clinging to my neck I guess I got a new leash on life
Maybe with this I can try and change it and make it finally feel right
Memories fucked the only reason I know what ive done is from being told
And the boredom and thoughts that I have nothing to offer is getting old
Try and find a way round every obstacle so far only one method gets it done
Go nuts smash it to shit then try an calm down an keep telling myself I won
Random spats of anger come out in heavy bursts smash whatever I see first
Fight scenes not like Hollywood unrehearsed leaving peeps dispersed and nursed
Failed suicide so now ive fallen free without fear to carry on this struggle
And across the ocean of my mind thoughts of happiness im starting to smuggle

I fell free to the earth to reimburse my existence
No need for a nurse skip the hurse new state of living
Time to realize that I must have something to give
To just get fucked is not my only reason to live

From the floor I see the world from a different perspective
Analyze the different angles shapes meanings and perplex it
Every little thing make a mental note staple that to my cranium
All the sick thoughts I spit out drag back together and im taking em
Recycling em round and round till their completely new creations
With an alternate definition of existence like new found cancer patients
An talking to relations is like have a drunk surgeon causes complications
Confrontations unfavorable situations and untrue accusations
Implications of false acts and my second name aint Jackson
Allegations on me are unholy decorations need to take some action
In my eyes why do I wanna be somewhere were im not trusted
The last chains of faith in me have been rusted now there busted
Donít need anybody but my trip buddies an my trip inducers
An the cold dark stare of someone out there mind hold you stiller then medusas
But when you in the same position itís as comforting as ya mums embrace
When you were five years old and werenít tall enough to see her real face

I fell free to the earth to reimburse my existence
No need for a nurse skip the hurse new state of living
Time to realize that I must have something to give
To just get fucked is not my only reason to live

Everyday dissociative living is what im bringing and giving
As im clinging to my last threads of sanity swinging an singing
Fucked up mind state is what makes me ignore the downpours of rain
Actually replace rain with pain cause this pain leaves my brain disdained
An the ruler of my body needs to end his reign cause his actions cause strain
Leaving brain cells slain my liver stained and constant guests to entertain
I tread carefully when I explore my mind cause thereís traps and mines
Waiting for me to stumble over and find and disable in my own time
And as I dive in and explore ephinanys emerge and sometimes hurt
Tell me somethingís I wanted to know others that now ill never revert
Tell me how I know my life should be and tell me how to make it better
Tell me this life I live isnít a set up need to find some motivation and get up
An I know the real me can never be on display has to stay locked in a draw hiding
And itís only really my like minded friends that I can confide in
And thatís only when ive popped e then out flies the real me for all to see
Cause when im sober if I look in the mirror a stranger stands staring at me

santana99
09-03-2007, 02:50 PM
tight tight

Montana
09-03-2007, 04:43 PM
Ill Feed 2mz Probz Nakered At Mo....

FranchizeTheKid
09-03-2007, 09:33 PM
I Didn't Read Every Single Verse But The Ones I Read Were Dope

BraNd
09-04-2007, 12:01 AM
Every little thing make a mental note staple that to my cranium
All the sick thoughts I spit out drag back together and im taking em
Recycling em round and round till their completely new creations
With an alternate definition of existence like new found cancer patients
An talking to relations is like have a drunk surgeon causes complications
Confrontations unfavorable situations and untrue accusations
Implications of false acts and my second name aint Jackson
Allegations on me are unholy decorations need to take some action
In my eyes why do I wanna be somewhere were im not trusted
The last chains of faith in me have been rusted now there busted


took my favorites from this shit.....nice text spit.....

Eyebagz
09-05-2007, 02:04 PM
thanks for feed everyone uppin

$tate
09-05-2007, 02:52 PM
You got a damn good vocab, almost didnt understand half the joint.
But anyways good drop, deep and shit, flow was good.
I only read 1st and 2nd verse so might add on later (feed)

Eyebagz
09-07-2007, 06:36 PM
thanks state

MAW
09-07-2007, 06:53 PM
You got a damn good vocab, almost didnt understand half the joint.
But anyways good drop, deep and shit, flow was good.
I only read 1st and 2nd verse so might add on later (feed)

yeh i already told him he should stop reading books.....i partially understood it...it was pretty deep shit...usual for you...propz man....i can honestly say..you're a good mc man!

thaincfan
09-08-2007, 10:24 AM
Damnnn
I enjoyed reading this.
this was really good
very nice descriptive language

murder1705
09-08-2007, 04:20 PM
this was good nice vocab i didnt understand half of it

Montana
09-15-2007, 10:20 AM
Another Sick Drop.
The Story Telling Is Dope.

Very Hard To Read As A Track, It Isnt Like A Track 2 Me.
Very Descriptive And Dope Vocab, Decent Flow.
2nd Verse Definately My Favorite. The Topic Is Fucked Lol...
Overall: 8.5/10
If I Never Read Any Of Your Shit Before Would Be Higher.

Chopz
09-16-2007, 06:32 PM
The ropes still clinging to my neck I guess I got a new leash on life
Maybe with this I can try and change it and make it finally feel right
Memories fucked the only reason I know what ive done is from being told
And the boredom and thoughts that I have nothing to offer is getting old
-Just fucking manic..


From the floor I see the world from a different perspective
Analyze the different angles shapes meanings and perplex it
Every little thing make a mental note staple that to my cranium
All the sick thoughts I spit out drag back together and im taking em
-Flow is like Woah.


In my eyes why do I wanna be somewhere were im not trusted
The last chains of faith in me have been rusted now there busted
-Just plain nice


But when you in the same position itís as comforting as ya mums embrace
When you were five years old and werenít tall enough to see her real face
-My favorite line in the song by far... It is just... Insanely amazing lol.... I don't know if you want me to use a more extensive vocab but I think that summed it up pretty well.


Leaving brain cells slain my liver stained and constant guests to entertain
I tread carefully when I explore my mind cause thereís traps and mines
- .........................................:Yayo: :Yayo: :Yayo: :Yayo: -Eyebagz, doing the dance that suits him so well as shown by this written [You can't touch me]


And thatís only when ive popped e then out flies the real me for all to see
Cause when im sober if I look in the mirror a stranger stands staring at me
- Maybe, just maybe next time you will spit something a bit worse and let everybody else have a chance at having their song recognized at the time..


I just quoted perhaps half of the song... And don't get me wrong, both half's of the song deserved to get quoted, but those select pieces really deserved it... So... Bagz.. Practicing are we? Anyways, fucking dope piece, first of all the wordplay that was included with some of the similes in their was insane, plus the wordplay that was just wordplay... Vocab - Not to extensive but still a vast selection of words... And gave it a complex feeling to carry on with the already well established flow and imagery... All together an amazing piece from an amazing artist... Only bit I didn't like was the reference to M.J... Looks like you've fallen into the rapper trap :(.

BlackStar
09-30-2007, 05:43 AM
The rope breaks but the noose is still holding tightly round my throat
oh...pretty fast beginning...so here we go :D
I guess in the river Styx I wonít float go over an rip up my suicide note
good line, cool that you bring the river Styx in it
Thoughts fly through my head I realize maybe death wasnít the best option
now it get interesting
Loads of people fulfill their dreams everyday donít let anything stop them
But feelings of everything being wrong I canít let go of my fist stays clenched
As the world stands above me urinating wildly I stand like a statue drenched
lol...typicall Eyebagz-style...nice personification of the world and good similie
The ropes still clinging to my neck I guess I got a new leash on life
Maybe with this I can try and change it and make it finally feel right
Memories fucked the only reason I know what ive done is from being told
mhhhh...nice line...so you can't reconize yourself...like in a rage
And the boredom and thoughts that I have nothing to offer is getting old
Try and find a way round every obstacle so far only one method gets it done
Go nuts smash it to shit then try an calm down an keep telling myself I won
Random spats of anger come out in heavy bursts smash whatever I see first
yea...rage...I was right...I'm so dope
Fight scenes not like Hollywood unrehearsed leaving peeps dispersed and nursed
very good similie here!!!
Failed suicide so now ive fallen free without fear to carry on this struggle
And across the ocean of my mind thoughts of happiness im starting to smuggle
good metaphor at the end!

I fell free to the earth to reimburse my existence
No need for a nurse skip the hurse new state of living
Time to realize that I must have something to give
To just get fucked is not my only reason to live
good to here that

ohh...hold on, I have to shit

that feels good...aiight, let's go on

From the floor I see the world from a different perspective
Analyze the different angles shapes meanings and perplex it
again good opener
Every little thing make a mental note staple that to my cranium
All the sick thoughts I spit out drag back together and im taking em
this sounds disgusting!
Recycling em round and round till their completely new creations
With an alternate definition of existence like new found cancer patients
ha! again good metaphor and similie in this part
An talking to relations is like have a drunk surgeon causes complications
LMFAO...
Confrontations unfavorable situations and untrue accusations
Implications of false acts and my second name aint Jackson
hahahahahahaha!!!! awesome!!!
Allegations on me are unholy decorations need to take some action
In my eyes why do I wanna be somewhere were im not trusted
word
The last chains of faith in me have been rusted now there busted
Donít need anybody but my trip buddies an my trip inducers
fuck you...
An the cold dark stare of someone out there mind hold you stiller then medusas
dope comparision!!! the medusa let you FREEZE!!! lol
But when you in the same position itís as comforting as ya mums embrace
When you were five years old and werenít tall enough to see her real face
wtf? this was a fucking dope metaphor!!!

I fell free to the earth to reimburse my existence
No need for a nurse skip the hurse new state of living
Time to realize that I must have something to give
To just get fucked is not my only reason to live
blabla...I already read this...

Everyday dissociative living is what im bringing and giving
As im clinging to my last threads of sanity swinging an singing
ok opener
Fucked up mind state is what makes me ignore the downpours of rain
Actually replace rain with pain cause this pain leaves my brain disdained
An the ruler of my body needs to end his reign cause his actions cause strain
Leaving brain cells slain my liver stained and constant guests to entertain
omg...you have a flow here!!!
I tread carefully when I explore my mind cause thereís traps and mines
Waiting for me to stumble over and find and disable in my own time
again dope metaphor
And as I dive in and explore ephinanys emerge and sometimes hurt
Tell me somethingís I wanted to know others that now ill never revert
Tell me how I know my life should be and tell me how to make it better
Tell me this life I live isnít a set up need to find some motivation and get up
very good part here! You're talking directly to the reader!
An I know the real me can never be on display has to stay locked in a draw hiding
why?
And itís only really my like minded friends that I can confide in
And thatís only when ive popped e then out flies the real me for all to see
Cause when im sober if I look in the mirror a stranger stands staring at me
sick ending...very good work!

this is one of your best works! It's different to just read it or to read it and leave feedback. You had some really good metaphors and some good similes. You expressed your thoughts and feelings very good in my eyes.

Keep it up for real!