View Full Version : Through The Adversity - MSN Freestyle - Perhaps My Deepest Yet.

07-29-2007, 09:35 PM
A Man With Much Potential, 35 But Smily, Looked In Good Health
He Took Sickness With A Pinch Of Salt, Peepz Said He Had Good Stealth
His Primary Concern Was Making His Kids Of 5 And 9 Happy
He Wasn't Flashy Or Arrogant, To Them He Was Just Daddy
Then One Day He Went For A Routine Check At The Hospital
They Detected The Spread Of Very Worrying Particles
"We Need To Operate Fast", Before He Knew It Hes Out Cold
Face Gone From Normal To Whitey Green If Truth Be Told
After They Had Operated, They Greeted Him With Bad News
This Isnt Your Average Illness, Coughs, And Things Like Flu's
This Is Terminal, Gave Him Six Months, But His First Concern
"Its My Daughters Birthday In 8, For That Moment I Yearn"
They Said Sorry, No Mother Around To Break The News
He Had To : "Daddys Got A Big Fight But Hes Gonna Lose"
They Cried And Made A Vow: 'The Rest Of Your Life Will Be Special"
As Tears Became An Imprinted Memory, In HiS Arms They Nestle
The Kids Give Daddy A Hug, "We Love You Forever We Promise"
And He Looked In Their Innocent Eyes & Knew They Were Honest
In The Forthcoming Months, Love Ruled Over Disease
Never Have A Family So Vigrously Valued Cups Of Teas
They Treated Every Moment As A Complete Blessing
Overcome Tears With Smiles, Never Once Were They Stressin
It Was Love Which Bonded Them, The Childrens Sweet Ways
Meant Every Hug Seemed To Add On A Few Days
They Went To Theme Parks, Even As He Grew More Weak
His Kids Kept Him Going, Only Joyous Tears Would Leak
Then In What Seemed A Flash, One Day Until Its Six
Sweet Kids Thought It Was Over, Winced At Each Tick
Hugging Him Til They Slept, Woke In The Morning
Cradling Still, Thought He'd Died But He Was Yawning
"DADDY YOU'RE ALIVE", He Smiled And They Embraced
Knew That The Next 6 May Not Be Faced
2 Months Til Shes 6, He Wanted To Hold On Til Then
And His Wildest Dreams Was To See His Son Reach Ten
But To Do That, He'd Have To Live Another Five Months
He Knew Looking In The Future Would Severely Stunt...
How Long He Lives, So He Kept Taking It In His Stride
But Now He Was Bald, Harsh Realities Hard To Hide
Yet He Kept Battling, And The Birthday Was Amazing
Family Day Out With The Candles Defiantly Blazing
They Went To A Restaurant And The Kids Lived Their Dream
Birthday With Daddy, Celebrated As A Team
That, The Boy Had 3 Months Til He Was In Double Figures
Since It Was terminal His Son Was 4 Inches Bigger
He'd Seen A Lot, Now They Had More To Enjoy
He Was Adamant He'd Make It Special For The Boy
But He Got So Weak, He Barely Resembled His Former Soul
Looked Like His Body Was Prepared To Just Fold
But He Kept Fighting, 2 Months To Go Til Its Time
"Daddy I Want You 2 See Me Make It Past Nine"
But Docs Gave Him 2 Weeks, And He Told The kids
He Had To Be Truthful After All They Did
They Took It Well And Said Theyd Extend It
"Daddy We'll Get That Disease And Mend it"
He Kept Battling, Every Night Was A New Fight
Yet He Still Made It To See Morning Light
1 Day Til The Boys Ten, Looked Like The End Was Nigh
He Kept Going, And Its Clear The Reason Why
The Next Day He Awoke, Another Special Day
They Celebrated In Their Spectacular Way
After More Fun And Emotions, They Led At Home
A Long Day, And On Him It Had Shown
Round The TV He Fell Asleep, And That Was That
Motionless On The Sofa, Where Much Had Occured
The Announcement It Was Terminal, Kids Still Undeterred
They Looked to Him And Cried but Were So Proud
"Next Time We See You Will Be Up In That Cloud"

07-30-2007, 11:15 AM
Uppin ....

POC Was Here
07-30-2007, 01:29 PM
Can't Feed Right Now Cause I've To Go Play Football........ But I'll Feed When I Get Back!

07-31-2007, 04:35 PM
Thanks For All Your Lovely Comments

07-31-2007, 05:21 PM
Very Deep Fo A Freestyle, Gd Storytelling 1st Bit Reminded me Of Kanye West 'Roses'. Cud Of Been A Track Mayb.

08-01-2007, 06:27 PM

08-01-2007, 07:42 PM
dope for a free story was nice flowed well and kept me interested keep up

Ttown MC
08-02-2007, 11:32 AM
hardest part about freestyleing is still being able to make each line connect wit itself thers lines in this were you sorta continue the bar or continue with what your trying to say an say it over 2-3 lines. Outside fo that this isa big step up sam goood job an continue wit the freestyles.


08-03-2007, 03:35 AM
Wow, It's Long, Lol!

08-03-2007, 03:40 AM
Nice Free!