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Chopz
06-19-2007, 06:38 PM
Fear

My deepest weakness is my confidence, I usually fall speechless,
When asked to kick a free, my mind slowly crumbles to pieces,
I don't believe in myself, like an atheist who's told he's god,
Like a Jew from the Holocaust, perceived to go to a place that’s hot,
In the realms of my mind, my inner child cries, burning alive,
The fear of proving himself to others carries over to my peace of mind,
An actor who acts tough, but is really afraid of the stage where he excels,
Memories strike him of past times, howls of laughter emerge as he suddenly fell,
A child of an angel, is demeaned to a demon by those called his friends,
Outside of my home, I fall to pieces as I slowly enter the place where the fiends dwell
A story of the sages, fore-told before the child was brought to this plain,
Growing up with little self-belief, and the belief I have is accompanied by pain,
The mind of a hero and yet I have the heart of a coward sent to war,
I hide inside my own body, letting my darker half emerge and step forth,
I cannot face my own fears, so how can I stand up to help another,
If a good friends life was in danger and I could help, I would have one less brother,
My confidence is raging inside - stuck in Guantanamo like an innocent Asian,
Waiting to prove that it can guide me to greatness, but is lost in histories pages,
Hopefully one day I will discover my confidence, and utilize my full sense of true self,
But until then, my insides burn to ashes, as I believe in everybody except myself…


A piece of Poetry from a small book that I'm writing lol. All feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

(If you read this please leave a comment no matter what you think, just to tell me that you have read it. Thanks)

Cap
06-19-2007, 06:40 PM
Fear

My deepest weakness is my confidence, I usually fall speechless,
When asked to kick a free, my mind slowly crumbles to pieces,
I don't believe in myself, like an atheist who's told he's god,
Like a Jew from the Holocaust, perceived to go to a place that’s hot,
In the realms of my mind, my inner child cries, burning alive,
The fear of proving himself to others carries over to my peace of mind,
An actor who acts tough, but is really afraid of the stage where he excels,
Memories strike him of past times, howls of laughter emerge as he suddenly fell,
A child of an angel, is demeaned to a demon by those called his friends,
Outside of my home, I fall to pieces as I slowly enter the place where the fiends dwell
A story of the sages, fore-told before the child was brought to this plain,
Growing up with little self-belief, and the belief I have is accompanied by pain,
The mind of a hero and yet I have the heart of a coward sent to war,
I hide inside my own body, letting my darker half emerge and step forth,
I cannot face my own fears, so how can I stand up to help another,
If a good friends life was in danger and I could help, I would have one less brother,
My confidence is raging inside - stuck in Guantanamo like an innocent Asian,
Waiting to prove that it can guide me to greatness, but is lost in histories pages,
Hopefully one day I will discover my confidence, and utilize my full sense of true self,
But until then, my insides burn to ashes, as I believe in everybody except myself…


A piece of Poetry from a small book that I'm writing lol. All feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

(If you read this please leave a comment no matter what you think, just to tell me that you have read it. Thanks)

Ehh Fuck You, I'll Feed Later, But Wheres My Poem??

Chopz
06-19-2007, 06:43 PM
What for exactly?

BlackStar
06-19-2007, 06:53 PM
reconized this drop...feed later...

Chopz
06-19-2007, 06:58 PM
You probably recognized it because I have released it before... Although it got 0 replies... Which shows that people LOVE my poetry..

BlackStar
06-19-2007, 07:28 PM
You probably recognized it because I have released it before... Although it got 0 replies... Which shows that people LOVE my poetry..

shut up punk...or I won't even start to read it!


http://www.murderinc-online.com/usforum/t27736-p2-forever.html

CopOnDr.Monkley
06-20-2007, 05:11 AM
ten out of ten, ten being the worst, one being the best. one out of ten the other way. four point five if were using the ph scale. nine. ok?

CopOnDr.Monkley
06-20-2007, 05:12 AM
ten out of ten, ten being the worst, one being the best. one out of ten the other way. four point five if were using the ph scale. nine. ok?

co-sign. props.

LOC
06-20-2007, 05:43 PM
Propz chopz....

BlackStar
06-21-2007, 08:51 AM
really nice poem, but it can be a rap verse too.

Very nice comparisions:

Like a Jew from the Holocaust, perceived to go to a place that’s hot
stuck in Guantanamo like an innocent Asian

and very good "other" parts:

An actor who acts tough, but is really afraid of the stage where he excels,
The mind of a hero and yet I have the heart of a coward sent to war

props!