PDA

View Full Version : P.O.C - Drunk By Myself(Intro)



POC Was Here
03-22-2007, 05:54 PM
Uhh, The Fuck Is Going On?
The Fuck Am I Doing On The Ground?
This Drink Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me
But If That Don't Kill Me, Life Will
So It's A Double Edged Sword Really
But Fuck It........


Hardly Living, No Heart But An Empty Vessel Makes Most Noise ..
So My Voice Echoes, Insides Freezing Like Dudes Killed From Cold Knives ..
More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..
I Guess I "Cut All My Ties", Like An Angry Lawyer On His Last Day ..
If Cash Pays, My Finances Like "James Baldwin" They're Not Straight ..
My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..
As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..
Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..
In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..

POC Was Here
03-22-2007, 06:01 PM
This Is Only 1 Verse Long Cause It's The Intro...... All Other Songs Will Be Normal Length

LOC
03-22-2007, 07:18 PM
It was all good my bro

nice and short, hate it wen drops too long lol.

Chopz
03-22-2007, 07:19 PM
Wow, this lazy drunk has actually written something for like the first time this year (Nearly).

Hmm, well to start with the flow on this was constant for the most part but at times would become choppy:

More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..
- I start to pick up the choppy flow in the fourth line. Unlike the fourth line, to fit the line into the four bars of the beat, you must take a breath at approximately 3/4 of the way through the bar. Of course, in audio this is not a problem, but, when people are reading it they may be thrown off as they might not get how to rap it and may not know how the original beat goes.

Another thing I picked up throughout your verse was that it included a lot of similies and punches. This is good in some songs but in this song it kind of threw me off of what it was supposed to be about. I guess you made this song partially emotional and partially story based but I felt as if you could have done more to make this verse more appealing to the people who know the original.

As for the actual written skills on this song, I thought that they were bery good:

Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..
- I thought this was true as the first line is true to me, I day dream in college all the time lol, but I thought it was good as you added in some humour in the second line and perhaps a touch of personal experiences in both?

In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
- I liked this as it is true between me and you, I'm rich your poor, work it out. Lol. Just joking. I think that this is good as the flow of it is pure to audio, text and the original beat. A piece of art at its finest.

I think that this was a very good attempt at re-doing a classic by one of the best alive. I think that if you keep up the work like this then the album will be great. 8.9/10.

-LuCuSs-

Sparx
03-22-2007, 10:15 PM
That was a nice intro, sets up the mood for the album very nicely.
Fav Lines:


Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt"

God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..

In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..


unlike Chopz i dont think ur flow fell off, but i dont think its as good as ive seen it, multiz were there metaz too... punches not really but fuck it its an intro... happily waiting the rest of the album... good work drunkard

Leon Fluxx
03-23-2007, 12:27 AM
pretty dope.. EVERYONE IS DOIN LP's I see.. nice intro.. good concept which is mo in my taste but im just getting drained by LP's.. and similiarity.. yet this isnt similiar figga deal?.. its just LP's in general.. im burnt from it..if niggaz concentrated on battles as much as LP's.. this site would be active..but dope track.. keep em coming..

Nickolai
03-23-2007, 05:36 AM
Uhh, The Fuck Is Going On?
The Fuck Am I Doing On The Ground?
This Drink Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me
But If That Don't Kill Me, Life Will
So It's A Double Edged Sword Really
But Fuck It........


Hardly Living, No Heart But An Empty Vessel Makes Most Noise ..
So My Voice Echoes, Insides Freezing Like Dudes Killed From Cold Knives ..
KNIVES, NOISE? DONT REALLY RHYME LOL...THE WHOLE EMPTY VESSEL MAKING YOUR VOICE ECHOE WORKS WELL, END OF SECOND LINE WORDED NICE
More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..
GOOD SIMILIES IN THE FIRST LINE AND DOPE WORDPLAY IN SECOND
I Guess I "Cut All My Ties", Like An Angry Lawyer On His Last Day ..
If Cash Pays, My Finances Like "James Baldwin" They're Not Straight ..
ONCE AGAIN USING NICE SIMILIES AND WORDPLAY
My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..
TIGHT BAR, SICK CREATIVE SIMILIE IN FIRST LINE AND SECOND LINE DEEP
As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..
COOL BAR, ALOT OF SIMILIES LOL, NO PROBLEMS WITH THE FLOW SO FAR
Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..
SECOND LINE GOOD METAPHOR AND WORDED NICELY...FIRST LINE COOL SIMILIE
In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
DOPE BAR, TIGHT FIRST LINE WORDED GREAT AND SECOND LINE REAL TALK
Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..
NICE CLOSER TO THE INTRO, SICK SIMILIE IN THE FIRST LINE


FOR AN INTRO I THINK ITS DONE WELL ON HOW IT IS FOR YA DRUNK LOL
ALOT OF SIMILIES THROUGHOUT THE VERSE, MOST OF THEM REAL DOPE
HAD ABIT OF WORDPLAY WHICH I LIKED ESPECIALLY THE 'CANT CROSS HIM' LINE
HAD PRETTY HOT FLOW, NO PROBZ WITH THAT
CUDDA HAD SUM MULTIZ THO BUT ITS SA'LL GOOD
OUTTA 10 ID GIVE DIS PIECE 8.7/10
AYO, SO LONG, GOODBYE IS SURE TO BE A HIT ON THIS SITE LOL
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW

Flash
03-23-2007, 05:51 AM
Drunk mothafuckaaa!lol!
NIce nice nice!Gess its gonna be a good LP!
Wery good similies you used the flow was aight!
structure was good,and the closer was great!
So im waiting to see the rest of the LP!
Gess it's gonna be hot!anyway overall 8.5/10(for a intro)!
keep it up POC!Drunk asshole and smartass rofl!Peace

POC Was Here
03-23-2007, 10:39 AM
Thanks For The Feed Y'all.

POC Was Here
03-24-2007, 05:32 PM
Uppin........

Enzyme
03-24-2007, 06:38 PM
Uhh, The Fuck Is Going On?
The Fuck Am I Doing On The Ground?
This Drink Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me
But If That Don't Kill Me, Life Will
So It's A Double Edged Sword Really
But Fuck It........


Hardly Living, No Heart But An Empty Vessel Makes Most Noise ..
So My Voice Echoes, Insides Freezing Like Dudes Killed From Cold Knives ..
More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..
I Guess I "Cut All My Ties", Like An Angry Lawyer On His Last Day ..
If Cash Pays, My Finances Like "James Baldwin" They're Not Straight ..
My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..
As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..
Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..
In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..



Knives And Noise??! You Had To Really Be Drunk To Think That That Rhymed! Lol. No But Seriously I Like That You're Thinking, Your Using Similies So That Makes You Acceptable In My Book! It Was Decent, Format Reminded Me Of Lil Sam's Stuff, Other Than That Goodshit! 7.8/10

POC Was Here
03-24-2007, 06:42 PM
Why Am I The Only Person That Can Make Noise & Knives Rhyme? :(

Thanks For The Feed Zyme

Enzyme
03-24-2007, 06:46 PM
No-Eyes? (Noise)..Knives, Is That How Your Saying It?

Nickolai
03-24-2007, 06:49 PM
Unless Its The Way Irish People Say It
Ya Kno, How They Pronounce Three As Tree

lilsam
03-24-2007, 06:54 PM
Format Reminded Me Of Lil Sam's Stuff, Other Than That Goodshit! 7.8/10
What The Fuck Dude?

Enzyme
03-24-2007, 07:10 PM
The Structure Is The Same! What The Fuck Is Your Problem?! When I Mention You That Dont Give You The Right To SpeaK To Me! Every Time I Say Something Concerning You But Not Really About You You Hop On My Dick! That Was Not A Shot, I Wont Waste My Time On One. One.

BlackStar
03-24-2007, 07:33 PM
The Structure Is The Same! What The Fuck Is Your Problem?! When I Mention You That Dont Give You The Right To SpeaK To Me! Every Time I Say Something Concerning You But Not Really About You You Hop On My Dick! That Was Not A Shot, I Wont Waste My Time On One. One.

I told you Sam...but you're acting the same like before...so noting changed!
You still act aggressive on other people comments and you still won't listen to me! So I give a fuck about your apologize sam!

BlackStar
03-25-2007, 10:07 AM
Uhh, The Fuck Is Going On?
The Fuck Am I Doing On The Ground?
This Drink Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me
But If That Don't Kill Me, Life Will
So It's A Double Edged Sword Really
lol word!
But Fuck It........


Hardly Living, No Heart But An Empty Vessel Makes Most Noise ..
So My Voice Echoes, Insides Freezing Like Dudes Killed From Cold Knives ..
sick simile here
More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
uhhh...drunk dude comes with knowledge here! Check the Hillbert's problems guys and you know what's up...my bro told me that shit nearly one month ago...that's some sick shit!
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..
sick simile again!
I Guess I "Cut All My Ties", Like An Angry Lawyer On His Last Day ..
lol! dope simile!
If Cash Pays, My Finances Like "James Baldwin" They're Not Straight ..
knowledge again...James Arthur Baldwin was a homosexual writer...so not straight!
My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
DAMN!!! very good line
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..
As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
lol, nice simile again
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..
sick line! I WANT TO THE THE FILM!!!! April 4th it's out in Germany...damn!!! lol
Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
nice line
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..
similes over similes...
In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
LOL!!! that's a very nice simile!
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
sick line!
Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
what else can i say...dope simile!
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..
BOOM!!! sick closer!



that was a really really really strong verse...something that I didn't expect at the beginning 'cause of the title. It surprised me! You came very hard with the similes here...it wasn't annyoing 'cause the similes were very creative and complex. You connected them with wordplays or knowledge. I'm excited of your EP/LP now...props for this verse

Eimz_T
03-25-2007, 10:09 AM
Why Am I The Only Person That Can Make Noise & Knives Rhyme? :(

Thanks For The Feed Zyme

meant to quote u - u rhyme noise and knives cuz u have a dublin accent

POC Was Here
03-25-2007, 10:11 AM
Thanks For That Star....... It's Really Appreciated.

POC Was Here
03-25-2007, 10:11 AM
meant to quote u - u rhyme noise and knives cuz u have a dublin accent

Finally Someone Sees That It Can Rhyme Haha

FranchizeTheKid
03-25-2007, 06:01 PM
Format Reminded Me Of Lil Sam's Stuff, Other Than That Goodshit! 7.8/10
What The Fuck Dude?

LMAO!!!

I'll Feed Later Paulie

Enzyme
03-26-2007, 08:54 AM
Finally Someone Sees That It Can Rhyme Haha

I See Now, There Was No Disrespect Intended, I'm A NewYorker We Cant Make That Rhyme. Upping! One.

POC Was Here
03-26-2007, 10:27 AM
God Damn New Yorkers Lol J/K

Enzyme
03-28-2007, 01:46 PM
Where Is Dublin?

BlackStar
03-28-2007, 01:53 PM
Where Is Dublin?

erm...is that a serious question? It's in Beerland aka "we drink the whole day long"-land aka IRELAND!!! It's the capital! lol

Sparx
03-28-2007, 01:59 PM
erm...is that a serious question? It's in Beerland aka "we drink the whole day long"-land aka IRELAND!!! It's the capital! lol

Germany tried to challenge for the title... but they lost to Ireland... then they lost to Canada... booo yaaaaa PPPPPPRRRR

BlackStar
03-28-2007, 02:17 PM
Germany tried to challenge for the title... but they lost to Ireland... then they lost to Canada... booo yaaaaa PPPPPPRRRR

hahaha!!! the German beer is still the best! ppprrrrr...MSN?

Enzyme
03-28-2007, 02:23 PM
erm...is that a serious question? It's in Beerland aka "we drink the whole day long"-land aka IRELAND!!! It's the capital! lol

Oh Ok...Thanks For The Info. One.

Enzyme
03-28-2007, 02:23 PM
erm...is that a serious question? It's in Beerland aka "we drink the whole day long"-land aka IRELAND!!! It's the capital! lol

Oh Ok...Thanks For The Info. One.

Eyebagz
03-28-2007, 03:04 PM
Uhh, The Fuck Is Going On?
The Fuck Am I Doing On The Ground?
This Drink Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me
But If That Don't Kill Me, Life Will
So It's A Double Edged Sword Really
But Fuck It........


Hardly Living, No Heart But An Empty Vessel Makes Most Noise ..
So My Voice Echoes, Insides Freezing Like Dudes Killed From Cold Knives ..

I made my mum say noise and knives cause shes irish now i believe you and nice opener

More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..

nice lines

I Guess I "Cut All My Ties", Like An Angry Lawyer On His Last Day ..
If Cash Pays, My Finances Like "James Baldwin" They're Not Straight ..

whos james baldwin guess hes some gay guy nice line

My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..

Dope really like this bit

As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..

Dont get the last line at all but guessin its some old battl or some shit nice

Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..

second lines dope

In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..

nice again

Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..
PISSHEAD


Overall proper good drop now write the rest of the fucking album

POC Was Here
03-28-2007, 05:48 PM
hahaha!!! the German beer is still the best! ppprrrrr...MSN?

You Know That's A Lie Lol

FranchizeTheKid
04-05-2007, 10:49 AM
Uhh, The Fuck Is Going On?
The Fuck Am I Doing On The Ground?
This Drink Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me
LMAO!!! DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON OUR ALBUM SON, HILARIOUS
But If That Don't Kill Me, Life Will
So It's A Double Edged Sword Really
But Fuck It........


Hardly Living, No Heart But An Empty Vessel Makes Most Noise ..
So My Voice Echoes, Insides Freezing Like Dudes Killed From Cold Knives ..
Didn't Know Your Accent Was That Fucked
More Problems Than "Hillbert's Program" But Like Bad Scholars I Never Learned ..
Family See Me And Say "We Can't Cross Him" Like "All Bridges Were Burnt" ..
Dope, Bridges Line Is One Of My Fav's From You
I Guess I "Cut All My Ties", Like An Angry Lawyer On His Last Day ..
If Cash Pays, My Finances Like "James Baldwin" They're Not Straight ..
Okay Okay, Good Good
My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..
Nice Vocab, Flow Was Smooth
As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..
Haha, Dope As Hell, Standout Bar
Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..
Ain't That The Damn Truth, Beaners Like My Dad Keep Invading Cali:angry:
In This World Of Gangsta Images, I've No Place Like Evicted Tenants ..
Disgusted At Society Just Like Rich People Show Displeasure At Peasants ..
Nevermind, THIS Is The Standout Bar Lol
Like A Phalanx Formation I Put On A Brave Front, Never Looked How I Felt ..
I Only Live For Self, But This Is What It's Like When I'm Drunk By Myself ..
Good Closer, Too Short Though, Can Understand For The Intro Though


Overall, 8/10, Our Album Will Be Crack As I'm Getting Better At Sampling

POC Was Here
04-09-2007, 07:31 PM
Lol, Nick You're Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate

FranchizeTheKid
04-13-2007, 12:54 AM
Lol, Nick You're Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate

Oh Well, At Least I Gave Feed Sometime You Ungrateful Pot O' Gold Giving Out Bitch Lol

BraNd
04-14-2007, 01:29 AM
My Life's Just A Barren Wasteland Like The Post Apocalyptic Future ..
So I Accept Death With Open Arms, Can't Allow Inevitable Events Spook Ya ..
As For Judgement Day, I Don't Care Bout It Like A Badly Booked Holiday ..
Go Against The Odds Like King Leonidas At The Battle Of Thermopylae ..
Got An Angel On My Shoulder, But I Ain't Paying Attention Like Kids In Class ..
God Better Kill Me Fast Cause Like "Border Fences" I Ain't Built To Last ..


THAT PART IS A QUOTABLE.......NICE LIL TEXT SECTION HERE

POC Was Here
04-15-2007, 05:01 PM
Good Looks BraNd

FranchizeTheKid
04-15-2007, 05:48 PM
Good Looks BraNd

Where's My Good Looks You Bitch?

POC Was Here
04-15-2007, 05:53 PM
I Don't Like You

FranchizeTheKid
04-15-2007, 05:57 PM
I Don't Like You

Oh Yeah? Next Time You Won't Get Good Looks Like Ya Parents Were Ugly...

Oh You Mad Cuz My Comment Shitted On Ya Verse? Lol

POC Was Here
04-15-2007, 05:59 PM
Oh Yeah? Next Time You Won't Get Good Looks Like Ya Parents Were Ugly...

Oh You Mad Cuz My Comment Shitted On Ya Verse? Lol

Not Really, For A Rather Simple Reason.

I Basically Made You Into The Rapper You Are Today And You Strive To Be As Good As Me...... And That' A Fact.

FranchizeTheKid
04-15-2007, 06:01 PM
Not Really, For A Rather Simple Reason.

I Basically Made You Into The Rapper You Are Today And You Strive To Be As Good As Me...... And That' A Fact.


You Know What? You're A Bastard, Always Sonning Me, Go Down A Bottle Of
Liquor Or Something

Sparx
04-15-2007, 11:06 PM
You Know What? You're A Bastard, Always Sonning Me, Go Down A Bottle Of
Liquor Or SOmething

this is why ppl who are habitual.... son'ers... should not mentor

Cap
04-16-2007, 04:31 PM
this is why ppl who are habitual.... son'ers... should not mentor

Damn Straight, Look @ What Happenned When I Tried

Sonning Only Begets More Sonning Kiddies