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View Full Version : KauKasiaN - White Roze In The Wind



Nickolai
03-22-2007, 02:18 PM
*Instrumentals From Immortal Technique – Dance With The Devil*

Verse 1

The White Roze In The Wind, Petals Bein’ Plucked Off
Rain Drops Crushin The Plant, Tricklin Down, Lookin So Soft
My Life Cold & Worn Out, Do U Humans Feel My Presence?
I Am The Roze, Without The Petalz, Without The Essence
The Rain The Pressure On My Shoulders, Testz And Work
Teachers In My Ear Like Wax, Whisperin Detest And Hurt
Why Is It Me Who Becomes Lonely? Am I That Unsociable?
Or Is It That My Heart Poured Wordz, Are That Unnoticeable?
What Ever It Is, Feels Like This White Roze Is Diein, Willingly
Wish I Had Dutch Courage, But Then Again Im Not A Tulip, Kill Me
When I Come To The End Of My Life Line, No Longer White
But Crispy Brown, Floating In A Stream Under The Winter Night
May Some One, Some One Right, Take My Left Overs To Keep In Sight
Bury The Stem And All That’s Dead, So I Can Resurrect And Revive

*Instrumentals Playing*

Verse 2

Im In This Agony Where Depression’s Happily Stabbing Me
My Stem Has Been Snapped In Two, So I Have A Split Personality
This Metaphorical Mask Ive Been Hiding Behind, Is Wearing Off
Fucked The World And Hell Ever Since The Caring Stopped
You Can Open Up My Head And Inject Bliss Into My Life
But I Can Guarantee You That The Pain Will Develop Into A Knife
And Split My Cranium Into An Open Vault Where It’ll Grow
Until The Drug’s Been Evaporated From My System, And Go
To Condensate Against My Bedroom Window, Cuz I Know
It Cannot Be Stopped Or Reasoned With, As Dark As A Crow
And Im A White Roze, So, I Guess All I Can Do Is Live On
While My Body Is Raped With This Guilt, Feel’s So Wrong
Now More Than Just Teachers Are Whispering In My Ear, Its Hell
Where My Soul Is Banished For Eternity Down A Well
As Some One Stands Over It, Laughing At Me Wishing Im Dead
Until I Wake Up Screaming, & Wipe The Sweat Off My Fore Head


…..To Be Continued….

BlackStar
03-22-2007, 02:52 PM
*Instrumentals From Immortal Technique – Dance With The Devil*
you listen much IT while doing this album lol

Verse 1

The White Roze In The Wind, Petals Bein’ Plucked Off
Rain Drops Crushin The Plant, Tricklin Down, Lookin So Soft
good imagery here
My Life Cold & Worn Out, Do U Humans Feel My Presence?
I Am The Roze, Without The Petalz, Without The Essence
cool
The Rain The Pressure On My Shoulders, Testz And Work
Teachers In My Ear Like Wax, Whisperin Detest And Hurt
nice lil simile here
Why Is It Me Who Becomes Lonely? Am I That Unsociable?
sick line
Or Is It That My Heart Poured Wordz, Are That Unnoticeable?
oh...use an adjective for your words here...what kind of words?
What Ever It Is, Feels Like This White Roze Is Diein, Willingly
Wish I Had Dutch Courage, But Then Again Im Not A Tulip, Kill Me
lol...dutch...tulip...STEROTYPE!!! lol, nice line
When I Come To The End Of My Life Line, No Longer White
But Crispy Brown, Floating In A Stream Under The Winter Night
sick imagery
May Some One, Some One Right, Take My Left Overs To Keep In Sight
Bury The Stem And All That’s Dead, So I Can Resurrect And Revive
SICK!

*Instrumentals Playing*

Verse 2

Im In This Agony Where Depression’s Happily Stabbing Me
Dope line man! depressions happily stabbing me...damn good part! lol...I really like this oxymoron
My Stem Has Been Snapped In Two, So I Have A Split Personality
sick...
This Metaphorical Mask Ive Been Hiding Behind, Is Wearing Off
ha! nice line
Fucked The World And Hell Ever Since The Caring Stopped
You Can Open Up My Head And Inject Bliss Into My Life
But I Can Guarantee You That The Pain Will Develop Into A Knife
damn..great lines here
And Split My Cranium Into An Open Vault Where It’ll Grow
Until The Drug’s Been Evaporated From My System, And Go
To Condensate Against My Bedroom Window, Cuz I Know
sick imagery
It Cannot Be Stopped Or Reasoned With, As Dark As A Crow
And Im A White Roze, So, I Guess All I Can Do Is Live On
While My Body Is Raped With This Guilt, Feel’s So Wrong
Now More Than Just Teachers Are Whispering In My Ear, Its Hell
Where My Soul Is Banished For Eternity Down A Well
word
As Some One Stands Over It, Laughing At Me Wishing Im Dead
Until I Wake Up Screaming, & Wipe The Sweat Off My Fore Head
sick ending!

…..To Be Continued….

very good drop man! sick imagery, good content...really like it
BUT!!!! Check what the white rose or in German "Weiße Rose" is...

the symbol of the white rose was intended to represent purity and innocence in the face of evil. you def used that well here...but the history content to it would it make better in my eyes. Maybe this organization isn't that popular in foreign countries...but it's well known in Germany. So, I was a lillte bit disappointed...but the drop is still dope! Great work

Flash
03-23-2007, 05:34 AM
Nickolas!!!!!!Great song dawg!i realy like it!
Great way of explaining the white roze your way and it was all good!
Great vocab and structure,metas,imaginery,flow and everything else!
i liked more the 2nd verse...even to the 1st is sick too!
Over all hell of a good track here Nicko!if you continue to pop that shit
soon youll be one of the best here!so im waiting for the rest of the shit to come out!
to see what heat youve got 8.5/10!Keep up the good work!
One blood!

Nickolai
03-25-2007, 09:05 AM
Mmmmmmm I Wonder What I'm Gonna Do? :D

POC Was Here
03-25-2007, 09:30 AM
*Instrumentals From Immortal Technique – Dance With The Devil*
I Hate Immortal Tech Lol :angry:

Verse 1

The White Roze In The Wind, Petals Bein’ Plucked Off
Rain Drops Crushin The Plant, Tricklin Down, Lookin So Soft
Nice Bar....... Imagery Was Nice
My Life Cold & Worn Out, Do U Humans Feel My Presence?
I Am The Roze, Without The Petalz, Without The Essence
This Was Iight, Nothing Crazy But It Suits The Verse
The Rain The Pressure On My Shoulders, Testz And Work
Teachers In My Ear Like Wax, Whisperin Detest And Hurt
Lol That Was Dope...... Nice Similie
Why Is It Me Who Becomes Lonely? Am I That Unsociable?
Or Is It That My Heart Poured Wordz, Are That Unnoticeable?
This Was Dope....... I Really Liked This Bar
What Ever It Is, Feels Like This White Roze Is Diein, Willingly
Wish I Had Dutch Courage, But Then Again Im Not A Tulip, Kill Me
Lol The Dutch Courage Line Was Nice
When I Come To The End Of My Life Line, No Longer White
But Crispy Brown, Floating In A Stream Under The Winter Night
Very Descriptive Writing...... Pure Dopeness
May Some One, Some One Right, Take My Left Overs To Keep In Sight
Bury The Stem And All That’s Dead, So I Can Resurrect And Revive
Dope Closer Dude. Overall It Was A Nice Verse, Had It's Strong Parts

*Instrumentals Playing*

Verse 2

Im In This Agony Where Depression’s Happily Stabbing Me
Lmao, The Thoughts Of Depression Being Happy Is Dope..... Dope Oxymoron
My Stem Has Been Snapped In Two, So I Have A Split Personality
Niiiiiiice Son, Really Liked This Line Dude
This Metaphorical Mask Ive Been Hiding Behind, Is Wearing Off
Fucked The World And Hell Ever Since The Caring Stopped
Nice Bar, Carries The Verse Nicely
You Can Open Up My Head And Inject Bliss Into My Life
But I Can Guarantee You That The Pain Will Develop Into A Knife
And Split My Cranium Into An Open Vault Where It’ll Grow
Until The Drug’s Been Evaporated From My System, And Go
To Condensate Against My Bedroom Window, Cuz I Know
The Descriptive Writing Is Dope As Hell Dude..... Nice Imagery
It Cannot Be Stopped Or Reasoned With, As Dark As A Crow
And Im A White Roze, So, I Guess All I Can Do Is Live On
While My Body Is Raped With This Guilt, Feel’s So Wrong
Now More Than Just Teachers Are Whispering In My Ear, Its Hell
Nice Connection With The 1st & Second Verse There With That Line.... Very Nicely Done
Where My Soul Is Banished For Eternity Down A Well
As Some One Stands Over It, Laughing At Me Wishing Im Dead
Until I Wake Up Screaming, & Wipe The Sweat Off My Fore Head
Dope Ending Dude. Overall I Think That The Second Verse Was Yuor Stronger One

…..To Be Continued….

Dope Drop Dude. These Story Type Songs Are Really Starting To Become Your Strong Point. Great Imagery & Descriptive Writing And The Flow Was Steady Throughout. This Album Is Really Shaping Up Nicely Dude, Good Job.

Enzyme
03-26-2007, 09:06 AM
*Instrumentals From Immortal Technique – Dance With The Devil*

Verse 1

The White Roze In The Wind, Petals Bein’ Plucked Off
Rain Drops Crushin The Plant, Tricklin Down, Lookin So Soft
My Life Cold & Worn Out, Do U Humans Feel My Presence?
I Am The Roze, Without The Petalz, Without The Essence

Nice.

The Rain The Pressure On My Shoulders, Testz And Work
Teachers In My Ear Like Wax, Whisperin Detest And Hurt
Why Is It Me Who Becomes Lonely? Am I That Unsociable?
Or Is It That My Heart Poured Wordz, Are That Unnoticeable?

Flow's On Point. Nice.

What Ever It Is, Feels Like This White Roze Is Diein, Willingly
Wish I Had Dutch Courage, But Then Again Im Not A Tulip, Kill Me
When I Come To The End Of My Life Line, No Longer White
But Crispy Brown, Floating In A Stream Under The Winter Night
May Some One, Some One Right, Take My Left Overs To Keep In Sight
Bury The Stem And All That’s Dead, So I Can Resurrect And Revive

I Like The Way You Worded This Section. Decent Man.

*Instrumentals Playing*

Verse 2

Im In This Agony Where Depression’s Happily Stabbing Me
My Stem Has Been Snapped In Two, So I Have A Split Personality
This Metaphorical Mask Ive Been Hiding Behind, Is Wearing Off
Fucked The World And Hell Ever Since The Caring Stopped

Nice.

You Can Open Up My Head And Inject Bliss Into My Life
But I Can Guarantee You That The Pain Will Develop Into A Knife
And Split My Cranium Into An Open Vault Where It’ll Grow
Until The Drug’s Been Evaporated From My System, And Go
To Condensate Against My Bedroom Window, Cuz I Know
It Cannot Be Stopped Or Reasoned With, As Dark As A Crow

I'm Feeling The Pain Lol, Sounds Corny To Say It Like That But Your Lyrics Are Drawing You In.

And Im A White Roze, So, I Guess All I Can Do Is Live On
While My Body Is Raped With This Guilt, Feel’s So Wrong
Now More Than Just Teachers Are Whispering In My Ear, Its Hell
Where My Soul Is Banished For Eternity Down A Well
As Some One Stands Over It, Laughing At Me Wishing Im Dead
Until I Wake Up Screaming, & Wipe The Sweat Off My Fore Head

Nice, Decent Closer.


…..To Be Continued….


Nice Ass Post! I Really Felt The Emotion Behind It, That Doesnt Happen Much On This Site, This Was A Different Kind Of Drop, Everyone Always Talking About How Nice They Are, I'm Guilty Of That Too However That's Not All I Spit About, You Gotta Have Versatility, You Can Have A Creative Drop, Never Thought Of Before But It Talks About The Same Shit Of Being The Best So What Makes It Different Now, NOTHING! This Stood Out To Me, Nicely Done. Overall. 10/10! Stay Up Son! One.

ChynaDoll
03-27-2007, 04:40 PM
This was beautiful no lie. I just think it was missing a more rap element, probably metaphors or multies that would separate this from a poem. i loved the imagery however. very creative.
9/10.

Nickolai
03-30-2007, 07:30 PM
Thx For The Feed
Zyme 10/10? Lol
Ye Spose The Way I Described How The Injected Bliss Would Go Did Sound Abit Corny, A Part Of My Game I Need To Improve
& Chyna. When U Think About It, Most Of This Drop Was Metaphor
Cuz When Did Depression Ever Be Able To Split Ya Head Open & Create A Vault? Lol, Sa'll Goood Anywayz
Peeeeeaaaceee

Clasik
03-30-2007, 07:52 PM
yo man, sry i can't give u a full review. THe others already pretty much point out the main stuff. That was a sick song. It was really poetic
8/10

Enzyme
03-30-2007, 08:17 PM
Thx For The Feed
Zyme 10/10? Lol
Ye Spose The Way I Described How The Injected Bliss Would Go Did Sound Abit Corny, A Part Of My Game I Need To Improve
& Chyna. When U Think About It, Most Of This Drop Was Metaphor
Cuz When Did Depression Ever Be Able To Split Ya Head Open & Create A Vault? Lol, Sa'll Goood Anywayz
Peeeeeaaaceee

What You Dont Want It? I Can Take It Back! Lol.