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JaTahChild01
10-23-2006, 09:22 AM
Track title: "Kobain's Shotgun"
Artist(s): OdinTheGod
Album title: "Crucify The Pentecost"
Label: Tha Commission/ Cell Block Mobb
Beat,chorus,concept borrowed by Proof's "Kurt Kobain" form the "searching for jerry garcia" album.


( Odin talking) This is my last letter right here man, fuck this world. Im getting the fuck outta here…

(Verse 1)
I put my soul to the ink, and bless this pad with thoughts of happy times
Loving when I can write rhymes, that depict the forth coming of my demise
Penning down goodbyes- symbiotic ledgers that not even god can revise
Shaking my pen and hand at the thought of my father leaving us alone
How could you leave us ungrown- as something you could disown?
Fuck it, last thing I’ll leave you with is the echo of my own death’s tone
I don’t have the heart to listen to you drone- faggot couldn’t even pick up a phone
I couldn’t give two shits because you died to me a long time ago
But it’s the fact that Sam will die without you, and that’s not to mention my bro
I was the man of this family while you were out drinkin and chasing skirts
Its not my own loss, but moms empty stares and pockets that hurts
I have to ask why would god allow babies to be indebted to a bastard of a man
Hurt to walk so I picked up and ran-Left me listening to songs like “I can”
Cuz I needed only one breathe fuck a life span- Your worthlessness wasn’t in moms plan
I cant understand, how she could give you multiple chances when all you do is fail
I guess the heart wants what it wants, my presence wasn’t used to your avail
Im off and going a full paced run- records just spun-after this song we’re done
I hope the respirator and splattered brain matter stay in the dreams of your lost son


[Chorus]
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late

( Verse 2)
I have always put a stress on loyalty because without it theres no trust
Fingers cause triggers to rust- Faith without loyalty is love without lust
My family stretches nation wide beginning with my fam holding down queens
Misguided Jamaica teens- music and stereotypes has yall molded into machines
Ghetto crime scenes- The thoughts of my friends stuck there is far from serene
The old crew, you know who you are, my heart will always be with you in faith
From flushing, to BK, to 192nd to Madison square to my niggaz with shop on 108th
I know tears will reign the concrete, and liquor will be poured by the liter
What im meant to teach yall is that life is a game of tolerance not of inches and meters
Then my gambino family, what can I say besides thankyou and live life
Because a loss of one cannot justify or contend with the levels of street strife
Always had my back, through thick thin, and every measure of distance inbetween
Keep your senses keen- and run our blocks like it was a job that’s routine
And if you feel lonely or misguided remember the house parties on Halloweens
Khalil my better half, holding down Watts keep doing ya music don’t strain
Because every ounces of sadness will fuel your art with the presence of pain
Without family and friends who can we honestly say we are and wanna become?
But I have to leave the streets Im numb- this life is something I cant succumb

(chorus)
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late

( Verse 3)
I figure whats the point in typing this if the death row board and fam cant see
So I pronounce to you this broken emcee- with a vision not a dying plea
Enyo my nigga from beginning until the end- never seen ya face but you’re a friend
Had our problems before no doubt but we always seem to be able to mend
You know the reasons for my trends of thought and why I fight the way I do
And I just wanted to show my understanding and gratitude before this is through
Chopz my protégé its been a real joy watching you grow into a great artist
They questioned me passing you the title, but remember who was the smartest
Theres something in you kid, and even when they doubt you can overcome
Just remember hatred is the same as jealously and that’s always within some
Sparx, I told them you were my right hand before I was held back for a minute
You belived the truth and respected it while many of the others tried to pin it
To a certain aspect they could belive as if I had a reason to lie or impersify
And that’s why- I have always said your someone in which we can all rely
Koncret, my satanic minion the perfect complimation for a lyrically holy god
I knew it wasn’t a fake façade- when you asked permission to join our squad
Stick with Sparx as a team and me and fluxx know and have known you will go far
Ya message is always on par- where others criticm as a inspirational scar
Cap my other half, without you dawg who would be around with me to bicker
They compare blood to water, but if we can cause a laugh it don’t matter whats thicker
If everything remains a joke and you can keep positive and strong til the end
And not one person here can argue that Cap hasn’t been a comrad on whom to depend
Loc, you gunna make a great and proud father someday only a screen is needed to see
Good luck, and keep sending tracks to me until you put together that cd
I have shown you respect, love, and loyalty from post number one on MIO
And while others have crumbled or cracked you always stayed loyalty to me though
We smashed on multiple crews together, and in every trench I was given u ammo
Bustin lyrical shots as a family, same jersey represented in army colors of camo
Fluxx last but not least because without this man here, how could I lyrically feast
The Jersey beast-from-the-east- without whom I couldn’t have rose like yeast
When none had faith in my lyrical promise at MIO we collaborated
And our never ending loyalty is something that should be historically dated
Because few can say they can down to ride together for as long as us
And before we turn on eachother with our egos my casket will rust
I took CBM off your hands with a promise that I could elevate it to the top
Now its legendary in status and text albums and hits cant seem to be stopped
If writing andd rhyming is an art, than I see no reason why yall aren’t family
Or peers because our artist skill depend on eachother even if you cant stand-me

(chorus)
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late


( Verse-4)
On an emotional level no one compares to my love I share for you Sam
It was your illness that set me free and taught me to not give a damn
Because without you here to laugh and smile- nothings worthwhile
I was hostile-and vile- but your death will completely change that style
Without you here, Im left with nothing but Kobain’s shotgun to my head
Tears ripped my heart to shreds- Tears were outbursts of heartbeats I bled
Instead-I fled- as thoughts of the dead- lace my heart’s sleeve with thread
And even as I write this to you the numbness of solitude continues to spread
You were my sister, but at the same time my liberation from the street horror
And if it took 5 of my lifes, id gladly give them all to just restore her
Its funny how I can live 19 years of sin, and you lived 5 of innocence
Yet Im stuck writing songs, while grieving members light you inncents
Lauren promised to take care of you with me like you were our child
When you understood why we didn’t have a dad, you still taught us to smile
The masses of songs, poems, and hymns for you which thi so called god compiled
Id ask god why, but Id be ashamed of the answers which he shot back
So just know that its your eyes on my mind, as my vision just fades to black…

(chorus)
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late
I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it back
But it's too late


(verse 5-last lap)
now I sit in a chair with pen and pad entitled “will”with a trigger braced on a finger
Tears penetrate the area and echos of pain radiate as death’s smell lingers
Manic is a term used to describe those within the helpful hands of relief
Willow trees always weep- but never provide the wind with a flying leaf
I don’t even want to insult god with asking for a death that is easy and brief
Im a warrior, and Id rather burn on the cross to relinquish my eternal grief
Pen stabbed through the pad, ink bursting into the crevices of my finger tips
Ambigrams made from the word sad, sinks into the floor as my scripts drips
For a poet and prodigal son blood and ink is the same because its in my veins
Releasing my pains-when it rains- melodies locked in the chains of my brain
But empty thoughts of guilt and broken promises are all that now remain
I wonder if I leave my mind on a wall like a billboard for coming of age
Will history stop for me, and will the diaries of many dedicate me a
And I dedicate this will and testimate to all of YOU form this booth page
Theres nothing left to say, these words will be fill with only uncouth
Answer to all, I've always lied with truth
And before I pull the trigger tonight, I'm proud of you…

(Gun shot and body hitting the ground, followed by a pause)

(Low whisper: )
listen………LISTEN!
Hope killed me, with love…
Love killed me
Love…killed me
Love…killed…me
(silence)

Eyebagz
10-23-2006, 09:38 AM
(Verse 1)

thats fucked about ya dad leaving. The way you expressed ya self here with multis as well was dope

( Verse 2)
Without family and friends who can we honestly say we are and wanna become?
But I have to leave the streets Im numb- this life is something I cant succumb

closer of this is sick as fuck. it seems like a kinda shoutout and keep ya head up kind of verse worked weel


( Verse 3)

shout out to ya crew real good verse but i think i read summink like this from you already

( Verse-4)

dope real emotional verse loved it and if i got it right what you were saying im sorry man


(verse 5-last lap)
Dope verse love the ending


overall real good song really enjoyed reading and i love the original also and you did it justice. but i think it would of been better with just verse 1 4 and 5

Sparx
10-23-2006, 12:58 PM
basically what bagz said^... great concept, and i love the title. i really dono y u refuse 2 do audio fam, i tihnk u'd b good at it, or u could at least ghostwrite 4 ppl... a lotta $$ in that...

fav lines:

"Faith without loyalty is love without lust"

"Pen stabbed through the pad, ink bursting into the crevices of my finger tips
Ambigrams made from the word sad, sinks into the floor as my scripts drips
For a poet and prodigal son blood and ink is the same because its in my veins
Releasing my pains-when it rains- melodies locked in the chains of my brain
But empty thoughts of guilt and broken promises are all that now remain
I wonder if I leave my mind on a wall like a billboard for coming of age
Will history stop for me, and will the diaries of many dedicate me a
And I dedicate this will and testimate to all of YOU form this booth page
Theres nothing left to say, these words will be fill with only uncouth
Answer to all, I've always lied with truth
And before I pull the trigger tonight, I'm proud of you…"

crazy drop fam 10/10

Chopz
10-23-2006, 03:09 PM
Damn... This was crazy Odin nice work here...

Verse 1


I put my soul to the ink, and bless this pad with thoughts of happy times
Loving when I can write rhymes, that depict the forth coming of my demise

That is an amazing opener. It kind of sets the pace for the rest of the text and from this opener I percieved that the text will include a lot of imagery, vocabulary and complexity.


I cant understand, how she could give you multiple chances when all you do is fail
I guess the heart wants what it wants, my presence wasn’t used to your avail
Im off and going a full paced run- records just spun-after this song we’re done
I hope the respirator and splattered brain matter stay in the dreams of your lost son


Amazing.

Verse 2


I have always put a stress on loyalty because without it theres no trust
Fingers cause triggers to rust- Faith without loyalty is love without lust

Amazing.


I know tears will reign the concrete, and liquor will be poured by the liter
What im meant to teach yall is that life is a game of tolerance not of inches and meters
Then my gambino family, what can I say besides thankyou and live life
Because a loss of one cannot justify or contend with the levels of street strife

Good work but watch your spelling of "Litre".

Verse 3


I figure whats the point in typing this if the death row board and fam cant see
So I pronounce to you this broken emcee- with a vision not a dying plea

Absolutely astounding opener.


Chopz my protégé its been a real joy watching you grow into a great artist
They questioned me passing you the title, but remember who was the smartest
Theres something in you kid, and even when they doubt you can overcome
Just remember hatred is the same as jealously and that’s always within some

Speechless. That was astounding. Thank you.


If writing andd rhyming is an art, than I see no reason why yall aren’t family
Or peers because our artist skill depend on eachother even if you cant stand-me

An absolutely immense closer.

Verse 4

Damn. Nothing to quote here not because it was below bar or because it didn't shine but it is because it did shine so much. The whole verse was amazing, reading the first part I thought of the whole of it, I wanted to quote the first half but then going on to read the second I realised that the whole thing was just amazingly written. If I interpreted your words properly then I can do nothing but tell you that she has gone on to a better place and will always be alive as long as those who remember her keep her close to their hearts.

Verse 5

Actually, when it comes down to it I do not think that I can quote this verse either as it is probably my favourite verse with 4? It is worded amazingly and it is definitely an amazing way to finish off this song, beautiful verse.

Overall

12/10. Lol. This song was amazing. I do not know how else to put it. It was sad and you drew me into it. The vocabulary was amazing, the imagery was exquisite. Recently I have started thinking that I am a good textcee but after realising this I realise I have a lot further to go. If anybody ever thought that you were even partially dilettante then this has definitely changed their views.

JaTahChild01
10-23-2006, 03:28 PM
Yea thanks for the views and responses

verse 1-i didnt like how it came out but it had to be added to the song for the album to be complete. i touched on alotta personal things in this album and my father had to come in at some point

verse 2- we never talk about our "REAL" friendsi n our work. We talk about real things but never the people who influenced us most so i had to do that as something different

verse 3- i realized i had gotten personal in the first 2 verses and whats the use of getting personal if those reading it cant relate. Eyebagz was right i did make a whole song doing this sorta thing, but its the people on here who inspire us to do collabos and keep writing so i had to say something to touch on yall

verse 4- is about my sister, its a touchy subject that only Fluxx,Enyo,Loc, and i believe KOn man know about. I stay away form details in this subject but it was the second best verse in this IMO

verse 5-was just the desperation closer. I had this song planned to be the closer to the album so I wanted every other song to lead up to this point. This was kinda the victory lap, on my last wind verse. i think it is one of if not the best verse i have ever written. I liked the way i could tie Proof;s original song back in at the end because that line
"I've always lied with truth" to me is absolutely beautiful.



thanks again for the reads and everything guy go peep the album in its entirety and review that for me if u get a chance and chopz i will review your track i just have been busy and impatient with things lately, i didnt forget or ignore it

Leon Fluxx
10-23-2006, 03:37 PM
god damn these collabz are long as fuck now a dayz lol.. shit was dope though...
Theres a conspiracy though.. Did Kurt pull the trigger.. or did his bitch ass wife??... I just saw the documentary that English white dude did.. He did the big n pac one too.. but he came wit a lot of points why courtney love killed em..

Furst verse was pretty ill .. alot of good wordplay and creativity..Yea i feel u on verse 4.. I kno what u told me.. Suprised u wrote about it.. damn.. this track is deep i see to odin.. def a hot track.. just mad long read...

POC Was Here
10-23-2006, 04:27 PM
Dam Everybody's Getting 10's Ever Since I Dropped ''Whatever It Takes'' Lol. Welcome To The 10 Club Odin...... We Get Discounts On Everything!!

Sparx
10-23-2006, 09:15 PM
lol POC

yea Fluxx i saw that shit too... Courtney Love is one CRAZY ASS BITCH!!!

Leon Fluxx
10-23-2006, 09:52 PM
Dam Everybody's Getting 10's Ever Since I Dropped ''Whatever It Takes'' Lol. Welcome To The 10 Club Odin...... We Get Discounts On Everything!!

Odin has been gettin 10's before u even signed on to this site lol..
same wit me.. Its like an asshole.. Everyone has one.. cuz everyone has opinions.. n everyone feels different about certian collabz..

POC Was Here
10-24-2006, 09:30 AM
Odin has been gettin 10's before u even signed on to this site lol..
same wit me.. Its like an asshole.. Everyone has one.. cuz everyone has opinions.. n everyone feels different about certian collabz..

It Was A Joke :drunk:

JaTahChild01
10-25-2006, 10:46 PM
bumpppppppp

Cap
10-26-2006, 05:20 AM
Nice Track, Rhymed Well, Diss To U-Gang? I Can't Tell. Aint 4 The Same Verse For "Internet Loyalty"?. Good Shit Odin.